i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
