help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing