So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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