weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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