Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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