how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
