yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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