so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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