I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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