There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I want to fling myself into the sun
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
