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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Enjoy the penises
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
