I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Found your dick twin last night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
