If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
