Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
its liver damage thursday
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
