Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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