I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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