I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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