Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
