i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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