I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
