she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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