this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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