It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
