And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
