Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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