I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This is the high leading the old right now
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize