walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
