i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
