I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize