That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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