he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
