if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
