I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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