i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Your face is a jimmy john
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
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I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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