Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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