i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
