you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why is there bacon in the couch?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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