yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
