you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
