Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You made out with two different species that night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize