I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
