she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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