How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
