i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Farmville is her only friend.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
