Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
