I want to have your abortion
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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