and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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