At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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