You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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