Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
