He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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