The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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