I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
