He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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