i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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