The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
