I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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