Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
